Depression, suicide, and asking for help

I said not long ago that I wanted to make this blog a bit more personal. And now I'm going to. I've talked about mental illness and how it is something close to my heart. Today I want to talk about something else that's close to me, something I've lived through: depression and suicide.

Some people think that depression is something to be ashamed of, but I don't agree. Being depressed is something that everyone has felt at one time or another over the course of their lives. But for some people the depression comes and doesn't go away. It takes root and becomes a part of your life in a way that you can't get away from. And sometimes that depression becomes so painful that it's hard to get out of bed and face the day.

I've been there. I know this feeling. I've had bouts of depression that have lasted for months. Months where I could barely drag myself out of bed to eat. I failed a semester of university because of depression like this. I lost a job because of depression. There are times that I still deal with it, that I have to fight to make myself get up and do something more than just sleep away the days hoping to be numb to the pain.

And sometimes that pain becomes so much that you feel as if you can't get out of it. The first real novel that I ever finished was about a girl who tried to commit suicide. Much of the feelings the girl dealt with came from my own personal experiences fighting the impulse to end my life. That's a strong impulse, a strong pull when you're so depressed that you see no light at the end of the tunnel. It isn't the best solution, it isn't the only solution, but it's one that you'll consider to make the pain go away.

The biggest challenge I had was learning to ask for help. Sometimes that's still a problem for me. I want to be able to deal with my depression and my problems on my own. I want to be strong and not have to ask for help. But when it comes to depression of any severity and suicide in any capacity whatsoever, you can't do it alone. And the people around you may not have the capability to deal with it. When these kinds of issues come up, professional help is a must.

Don't be ashamed to admit that you've felt these things. And certainly don't feel ashamed about asking for help. It takes more strength to ask for help than to suffer alone, I learned that the hard way.

If you feel the need to talk to someone, please call 1-800-273-8255 in the US. Or search for a suicide hotline in your home country.

Please don't suffer in silence. I'm with you.