Why bad reviews are better

Every writer puts their heart and soul into their books. They work for months or even years to put together this story that is so much a part of them that they sometimes forget that they aren't a part of that world. And it's only right that a writer wants other people to love that world and those characters as much as they do. Every writer wants good reviews for their books.

But I would argue that bad reviews may be better. How do you grow as a writer--or even as a person--if you never fail? If no one ever tells you that you have flaws? Sometimes you need to be told something is wrong so that you can figure out what to do right.

I'm not saying go out there looking for people to write bad reviews of your books, or send them to people with the sole purpose of getting a bad review (you know, a reviewer who absolutely hates the genre of book you write). But what I am saying is be grateful for those bad reviews. Be willing to accept that you aren't the best at what you do. And you probably never will be.

But you can be the best writer you can be. It's all up to how you take bad reviews and rejection.

And that, my friends, comes back to how you take rejection and criticism. Because you'll deal with a lot of that in this business. Not everyone is going to fall in love with your work. But you can make a good name for yourself by being professional and learning from what people say about your books.

Who knows, you may end up learning something that makes you a better writer all because someone gave you a bad review.

The importance of being professional

First impressions are important. There's that saying that people judge you within the first few seconds of meeting you. I suppose you could say that goes for online presence as well. And especially with readers and your books.

Being a self-published author is about being a professional as much as being a writer. You have to do a lot of the leg work yourself. And when you do, you have to do it professionally. You have to be courteous. You have to keep track of everything that you've got to do and keep on top of dates, jobs, and emails. And you have to be humble and accepting of "no" when it comes.

You are your selling point. Your face and your reputation will be known to the readers and to people in the business. If it gets around that you're unprofessional, people aren't going to want to work with you. And that can be the kiss of death for a writer's career, especially if you're a self-publishing or an indie author trying to get their foot in the door of a big publishing house.

So here are some tips on how to be professional in your online presence:

1. Use people's names. If you know last names, use proper titles. 
2. Don't send mass emails. Tailor emails to individuals.
3. Double check your emails. You don't want to have to explain why you sent an email to someone with the wrong name on it.
4. Answer promptly and courteously, even if the answer is "no."
5. Be on time with things. If you get a "yes," make sure you get things to people by the deadline they give you or, preferably, earlier.
6. Follow up with people. 
7. Say thank you. This is the best thing you can do to show you're a professional.

How to deal with "no"

As a writer, just as in life, there's a single word that you have to learn to deal with. And you'll hear it a lot. Especially if you're a self-published author like I am. And that's the word "no."

Our society has a hard time with "no" these days. Whether it be not getting picked for the soccer team or that ghastly song "Blurred Lines," people don't want to hear that they can't do something. They don't want to hear that they aren't good enough or that they just aren't right for a job. Or, put simply, they don't want to hear that someone doesn't want what they have to offer. But as an author, you have to get used to hearing this because you're going to hear it.

A lot.

That isn't to say that you're not good enough. It just means that what you have to offer isn't right for the person that you're offering it to. I've had to deal with "no," or even worse, silence, a lot in the past weeks. I've been preparing to do a relaunch of my book and have been planning a blog tour. When you email 25 to 50 blogs a day and you hear back from 3 in a week, sometimes you get discouraged. You start thinking that it would be easier to quit. To just let everything go on its own and not bother.

But that isn't going to get me anywhere. It isn't until we learn to accept that hearing "no" a thousand times is worth hearing "yes" just once that we'll get anywhere. Because sometimes we get more out of the rejection than we do out of the acceptance.

It's out of rejection that we learn to get better, to take criticism, and to refine ourselves to the writer and the person we're supposed to be.