All You Need is Love

No, today's post isn't about the Beatles. Even though they are one of the absolute coolest bands ever. Today's post is more about what love actually is and how we can grow from having love in our lives.

I wonder sometimes if we really know what love is. All these books and movies make us think that love is this sweeping romantic feeling that comes over us and changes our entire lives. I'm not saying that things like that don't happen. It's possible to have these kinds of dramatic feelings of love, but I would say that love is deeper than all of that stuff. It's more than just a feeling. To me, love is a choice.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you can choose who you love. That's a whole other blog post right there, ladies and gentlemen. What I am saying is that this modern idea of love as an emotion that we fall into and out of on a whim is so far from what love is supposed to be that we've forgotten what love really is. To me, love is about safety and stability and the idea that there is something more important in this world than yourself. Love is about putting someone else before your own needs and desires.

I think my generation has forgotten this meaning of love. That love is something that is deeper than this feeling that comes and goes based on hormones and lust. People throw around the word "love" without really knowing what it means.

Perhaps that's why my favorite love story in young adult literature lately is the story between Katniss and Peeta in The Hunger Games. It isn't that Katniss chose who to love--because I believe that she truly loved Gale and Peeta in their own ways. But the real truth and depth of the love comes out in the fact that she realizes which one of them is so important to her that she will give up herself and her own happiness to secure theirs. And even though she works for the good of all of Panem and for Gale, it is always Peeta who is on her mind. It is Peeta whom she cannot survive without, because it is Peeta whom she can see herself waking up with every day and choosing to maintain that love.

That's what I mean by love being a choice. It's about deciding to stick it out when things get rough, to not give up when you get bored. That doesn't mean you have to stay with the first person you fall in love with, but I think a deep love and a deep commitment is something that requires a conscious choice to work at that love to keep it strong.

When it comes down to it, all you need is love. But you've got to choose to make it work.

Writing the Love Triangle

Well, it's Valentine's Day. I sat down and tried to figure out what kind of post I would do for today. Maybe I'd make a list of my favorite romances or the greatest love stories. Maybe I'd do a review of a romantic comedy or something like that. But then I thought about the fact that I was writing a novel with a love triangle. And I wondered, how is it that most young adult novels end up with love triangles in them? Why do they have them as plot devices? And why are they so important?

I think it's a common thing for young adults and new adults to be drawn to and attracted to more than one person at a time. That's okay because at that age you're trying to figure out what you want in your partner and what kind of qualities are desirable to you. And sometimes that can be a point of a lot of drama in your life. I like that young adult novels are real like that, because romance and relationships are a large part of the lives of young adults. But it isn't everything. It isn't the be all and end all.

Writing a love triangle and using it as a plot device is both easy and difficult. It's easy because it's like breathing--love is natural and it's natural to be conflicted about being in love. It's difficult because as a writer, you don't want to make it the central part of the life of your main character. It isn't everything, it isn't the central part of their being, it isn't all that is the part of them that is the be all and end all. The love triangle is a useful plot device because it provides drama and it's easy to relate to for readers. It's something that everyone has gone through at least once in their life--being torn between loving or liking two different people. Or at least having to make a choice between two different paths in life.

While I don't think that the love triangle is the central part of a young adult novel, I think it can be important in highlighting the choice between two opposing paths for the main character. Take the Elemental Royals Trilogy for example. The main character, Rosalind, could choose Gavin and live a life that was simple but always on the lookout for trouble. Or she could choose Andrew and have a life where she was safe, but where she would have to bear the weight of a crown and two kingdoms. It isn't so much about the fact that she loves two different men. It's about the fact that there are two choices of a life for her that she could have, choices where she could be happy and have a different kind of life. I think that's the real importance of the love triangle.

And that's why I write them.